When Mary Katherine was an infant and toddler, she always had to have her pacifier - her “pap, pap” or her “paci.” John is much the same way. When the pap, pap is nowhere to be found, a collective anxiety grows in the household. Pillows are thrown. Sheets are pulled off the bed. Tears are shed by both parent and child. Interesting things are found under the bed or in the sofa cushions.
Inexplicably, we are still finding Mary Katherine’s pacifiers around the house. I say, inexplicably, because we have moved twice since she was a toddler! So, if you ever see John with a pink or purple pacifier, you now know why. For us, it was easier to potty train Mary Katherine than it was to get her off the pacifier.
Eventually, everyone gets off the pacifier – some later than others. As we mature, however, we pick up other pacifiers along the way. We adults might call these pacifiers a glass of scotch, the newest binge worthy TV show, a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, a cigarette, social media, a murder mystery book. Sometimes these pacifiers turn into self-destructive behaviors - eating disorders, alcohol abuse, drug addiction, and sex addiction to name a few.
Over the years, we accumulate habits and behaviors that make us feel safe and comfortable. We find things that help calm our nerves after a long day. Some fall into routines that help deaden the pain while others fall into routines that help them feel something – even pain.
These pacifiers distract us from having to confront the wilderness of our lives. Without these pacifiers, we are left alone with our thoughts and feelings, and that can be a scary prospect. Anxiety grows. Left alone with our thoughts and feelings, the sound of silence is often deafening. Hello darkness, my old friend is only said endearingly when singing along to Simon and Garfunkel.
During this first Sunday of Lent, we journey with Jesus into the wilderness. This journey with Jesus into the wilderness asks us to give up our pacifiers. In case you were wondering, we convinced Mary Katherine to give her pacifiers to a friend of ours who had a newborn and it actually did the trick!
In the wilderness, Satan tries to distract Jesus from the wilderness by offering him the pacifiers of provision, power, and protection. Satan even uses scripture to sweeten the offer, but Jesus uses scripture that frustrates the way of Satan. Remember that just because someone quotes scripture doesn’t mean they are speaking the truth of God. Taken out of context, scripture is a dangerous weapon especially when used against those who are spiritually weak.
There might actually seem to be some kind of wisdom in the lies of the devil. Who doesn’t seek to have provision, power, and protection? What kind of harm can one bite really cause? Our problem, however, is do we know when enough is enough? When does enough provision blind of us from poverty and disease? When does enough power blind us to the plight of the weak and vulnerable? When does enough protection blind us to the peril that others find themselves in?
When does enough lead us to stop learning how to receive and start teaching us how to hoard, when does enough lead us to stop learning how to be grateful and start teaching us how to be more possessive?
For those of us who do possess plenty of provision, power, and protection in this earthly world, a journey into the wilderness can do a world of good for our souls. Putting the season of Lent aside for a minute, most, if not all of us have been driven into the wilderness for some reason or another – death, disease, disaster, the consequence of our sins or the sins of another.
One of my first wilderness experiences happened when I left the security of my Over-the-Mountain neighborhood to the rural backwoods of North Carolina on a mission trip. Not only did I see poverty first-hand, but I also confronted the wilderness that I was experiencing back home. That time in the wilderness was one of the most formative times in my life.
Being that I am not Jesus, I didn’t ace my first wilderness excursion and still haven’t aced one for that matter. However, that wilderness experience was the beginning of a life-long spiritual journey of learning to trust what God gives me to live instead of trusting the pacifiers I think I need to get through life.
As we see in the biblical narrative, the wilderness is where the people of God grow. And as we see in that narrative, the wilderness can be harsh and unforgiving, the wilderness can create internal conflict and division, the wilderness can make us want to dive into the trashcan to find that filthy pacifier we once joyfully discarded. Devilish temptations are especially strong in the wilderness.
Like a modern-day camping trip, the temptation is to make our wilderness experience as painless as possible. We pack an air-mattress, ear buds, a battery powered fan, our cell phone, and anything else that makes us forget we are alone in the dark surrounded by creepy, crawling things, by things that go bump in the night. But unless you’ve set up basecamp at the entrance of a bear cave with a nursing momma, odds are you will survive in the wilderness even without your pacifier.
It might leave you famished, but odds are you will come through that experience realizing that there is very little you really need to enjoy life. Odds are you will realize that most of the things that promise a better life are the very things that weigh you down in life. Odds are you will realize your pacifiers can be more destructive than the things that go bump in the night.
You will come through the wilderness, by the Spirit’s guiding, with a renewed confidence in your ability to recognize and resist false promises. You will come though the wilderness, by the Spirit’s guiding, with a renewed trust in the promise of God’s provision, God’s power, and God’s protection.
I don’t what you have chosen to give up for Lent, or if you have chosen to give up anything for Lent. But if you have or if you choose to, I invite you to notice two things. First, notice that those devilish temptations are finite – temporary. Like a bully in the schoolyard, Satan will eventually stop playing with you if you stop feeding into his game.
Secondly, God will never leave your side, even if you insist on rolling around in the dirt with the schoolyard bully, God will be there. Where you go, I will go, God says. Satan will give up on you, but God will never give up on you and that is a promise you can take with you to the grave and beyond. Amen.
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