“No
one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” I
can’t help but to be reminded of a movie that I have seen at least
three-hundred times – thanks to my five-year-old daughter Mary Katherine. In
the popular Disney movie Frozen, the
main character, Anna, is dying of a frozen heart and only an act of true love
can thaw this frozen heart.
Based
on every other love story we know, one might assume that the cure for Anna’s
frozen heart is found in a true love’s kiss. However, the story takes an
unexpected turn when a true love’s kiss is not in the cards. It appears that
the story will end tragically.
The
duplicitous Prince Hans, the supposed true love, has the kingdom of Arendelle
right where he wants it. Instead of giving Anna a true love’s kiss, he leaves
her to die from a frozen heart. The only thing left to do is kill Queen Elsa,
Anna’s sister, and then the kingdom will be his.
As
Prince Hans raises his sword to kill the Queen, Princess Anna steps in front of
the sword and repels the blow when she turns into an ice statue. While Anna
saves the Queen, it appears she has sacrificed her own life – she is frozen.
As the Queen cries over
the loss of her sister, something magical happens. Anna begins to thaw, and the
animated snowman named Olaf states the obvious, “Only an act of true love can
thaw a frozen heart.” No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life
for one’s friends.
As
I’m sure you’ve heard before, the word “love” in the English language can mean
all sorts of things. Saying, “I love my mom” is quite different than saying, “I
love bacon” (at least, I hope!). Saying, “I love my children” is different from
saying, “I love the Chicago Cubs.” The kind of love in each situation is
different. We love in different ways.
The Ancient Greeks used
four different words to describe the nature of love. There is eros which is an erotic love that one
typically shares with a spouse or partner. There is philia which is a brotherly love that one typically shares with a
friend. There is storge which is a
familial kind of love that works like an unwritten rule or code. And there is agape which is the kind of love that
lays down its life for another. Agape is the true love that thaws a frozen
heart.
While these different
types of love are gifts from God, the kind of love that has the power to change
and transform the world is agape. The kind of love that Jesus is talking about
in today’s gospel lesson is agape – this is greatest love of all. Agape love is
what transforms the world.
The reason eros cannot transform
the world is because eros is fickle. It either burns hot or runs cold. It cannot
endure because it is completely dependent on emotion, and we all know how
trustworthy our emotions are. Not even a true love’s kiss can save the world.
The reason philia cannot transform
the world is because philia depends on reciprocity. I will love you if you love
me. At some point philia love will fail, because at some point human beings
will fail to love us back. Storge love cannot transform the world because storge
is done out of obligation. Using the language of today’s Epistle, it can become
burdensome.
However, agape love transforms
the world because it is selfless, it is unconditional, it requires nothing in
return. Agape says, “I love you even when I don’t like the way you make me
feel.” Agape says, “I love you even when you don’t love me back.” Agape says,
“I love you not because I have to but because loving you is only way I know how
to be toward you.” Ultimately, agape says, “I love you no matter what.”
For us human beings,
agape is hard to comprehend because the human capacity to love is so conditional,
the human capacity to love depends on so many external factors. Using an image
in the book The Five Love Languages,
the human capacity to love is directly related to how full our love tank is. If
our tank is full, we love well. If our tank is empty, we love poorly.
The five love languages
(words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and
physical touch) are the different kinds of fuel we require in order to fill our
love tank. Some people need more acts of service while others need more words
of affirmation. These love languages are in some way or another expressions of
eros, philia, or storge.
While these expressions
are good and from God, they are like fossil fuels – finite and limited by
circumstance. Based on the love tank analogy, humanity sees love as a
commodity, as something to be consumed. And when we run out, we try to syphon
love off somebody else, we try to bargain for love which is a dangerous task.
But through and in Jesus,
God shows us a love that is more like a renewable energy, like the air we
breathe. Through Christ’s death and resurrection, God shows us that agape love
is infinite. While eros and philia and storge can fill our love tank and bring
us happiness, these expressions of love do not last. They are incomplete, but
even after eros and philia and storge have failed us, agape endures, agape love
makes our cup runneth over, agape love abides.
Jesus says, “If you keep
my commandments, you will abide in my (agape) love…I have said these things to
you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete.” In other
words, agape love not only abides when the other forms of love fail us but
agape completes the human experience of love. Agape love can even reintroduce
eros and philia and storge back into our language of love even when our love
tank runs dry.
We do not consume agape
love like we consume eros and philia and storge. Rather, agape love consumes us,
it comes from a God whose love is eternal. Agape chooses us; we do not choose
agape. Jesus says, “You did not choose me but I chose you.” Jesus chooses us
fickle and selfish human beings because God’s only posture toward us is love –
nothing has or will change the truth of God’s abiding love – a truth
established in Christ Jesus.
This is good news because
without the abiding agape love of God, we as human beings will run into a love
shortage very quickly. As the country song goes, we will go looking for love in
all the wrong places. Eros will run cold. Philia will betray. Storge will
become superficial and inauthentic.
But agape has the power
reframe how we share and experience true love. In Christ and through Christ and
with Christ, we learn that we are loved simply because we exist, we learn that
we exist simply because God is love. Love is the reason for our existence. When
everything else in the world is telling us otherwise, God’s love, poured out
for the world in Christ Jesus, is telling us, “You are loved no matter what.”
Best of all, agape love
multiplies when shared, this kind of love increases in us when we give it away.
Agape love can never be wasted – not even on those who have the most frozen of
hearts. Even if agape is shared with someone who won’t accept it, agape will
still grow in your heart.
Someone said, “the heart
is not like a box that gets filled up; it expands in size the more you love.” If
love doesn’t grow in you when you give it to someone who rejects your love,
then it is not agape – it’s conditional. Agape is unconditional. Agape love is
only interested letting the other know they are loved.
Beloved, when you are
sent out with the words, “Go in peace to love and serve the Lord” today, I want
you to hear, “Go in peace to agape the world.” When you are dismissed into the
world, you are being sent back into places where it seems the story will end
tragically. There are a lot of broken hearts and frozen hearts out there. There
are a lot of hearts that are empty and desperately trying to find places to be
filled.
And you have the cure, you know that the cure
is better than a true love’s kiss, better than a fairy tale; you know the
source of true love, you experience true love at this altar every Sunday when
you are nourished and strengthened by the love of Christ Jesus broken and
poured out for the sake of the world. So, go this day and believe with all your
heart and all your mind and all your soul that true love, agape love changes
and heals a broken heart and a broken world. Amen
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