Humility

The capacity to show humility has been working on me for the past several weeks.  I hesitate to share this post because a part me knows that I am no expert on humility.  I don't mean to say I haven't studied the topic.  Rather, I don't think I have lived a life that exudes humility (I am not trying to be humble here...). However, I do feel equipped to share with you my struggle to become more humble.

The other week I was trying really hard to be humble.  I thought of a perfect way to practice this virtue.  I promised myself that the next time someone said something nice to me I would simply downplay it and dismiss the compliment as nothing.

A perfect opportunity arose.  My father-in-law mentioned that his priest said I was the best golfer he had ever played with.  I quickly replied, "then he hasn't played with very many good golfers..."  While this statement is certainly true, why did I feel the need to depreciate myself in the face of a compliment?  I also put down the person who gave the compliment in the process!  Why couldn't I just accept it as someone trying to life me up and encourage me?

Another problem with my response to a compliment was that I was proud of my answer.  I congratulated myself on being more "humble."  The path toward humility is a slippery slope.

So how can we move toward humility without feeding our pride at the same time?

With the help of Frederick Buechner, I realize that my response to the above mentioned compliment was no more than gamesmanship.  Even though I was trying to be more humble, I was still thinking about myself.  I was so focused on my response that I didn't even take time to love the person who gave me the gift.

Ultimately, I have realized that the capacity to show humility is not about trying to be more humble.  The Pharisees are a perfect example of how trying really hard to be good and holy only leads to bigger problems.  Rather, the capacity to show humility is more about a change of perspective.

In last week's Gospel lesson from Luke, Jesus says, "Go and sit down at the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he may say to you, `Friend, move up higher.'"  Jesus is telling us to look at the world differently.  He is literally telling us to sit in a different chair.  He isn't telling us to think less of ourselves.  Rather, he is telling us to be ever-mindful of the needs of others.

We are called to sit in a different seat not because of some personal reward but because when we look at the world from this new perspective everyone wins, everyone is noticed, everyone is remembered.  The end result should mean that we can stop making sure we are noticed.

Ultimately, we are called to look at the world through the perspective of the cross.  Through the cross of Christ, we don't have to try to be more than we are.  We can admit that we aren't perfect.  We can admit that we fall short and that we need a savior.  And we can stop trying to save ourselves with our pride.  

The way of the cross is the path to humility.  It isn't about trying harder.  Instead, the way of the cross is about looking at the world in a different way.  It is about moving to a different chair and seeing the world from the perspective of the other.  After all, this is how Jesus accomplished salvation for the world when endured the cross that was meant for us.  The way of the cross leads us to Jesus who says, "Friend, move up higher."